Whirlwind

My life is like a whirlwind swirling all around me
Every day flies by in the everyday-ness
The responsibilities surround me
I cannot even remember deeper things
I am stuck on the surface of a deep deep ocean
That is begging me to dive in
To remember the amazing Love that completes me
I feel stuck in this routine and I cannot catch my breath
I want to sit down at Your feet and worship You
To be reminded that I am not in control
Take my flighty, wavering heart
Draw it near to You
Calm the storm of my soul
So I can feel the sweet heavenly waters pour over me
Revive me, complete me, and make me Your own.

Never slowing down

Ben is now 2 months old! He's growing so fast! He's smiling more and cooing more. He also has slept 7 hours at night. I'm starting to feel like a person again. I feel very lucky to have such a good little sleeper. He's just about always hungry and loves to be talked to. He absolutely loves his Daddy and saves all of his best smiles for him. Lily loves her baby brother and loves to be my little helper.
I have started watching Lily's best friend Miles again a few times a week. Lily really loves having a playmate again.
I got another 4.0 for this semester! I am so proud of myself because it was a lot of hard work! But the hard work has paid off. Yay! I also got a new pair of glasses. My eyes have been getting worse and worse and I basically have to wear glasses all the time. But it is pretty nice to see again. I didn't realize how bad it was until I started wearing them all the time.

We used our very nice tax return to buy us a shed. Our house has been feeling more and more cramped ever since Ben was born so it'll be nice to have some storage since we don't have a garage at our house. Brian had quite a time building it though. It took him 4 days of constant work to get it done. We were very fortunate to have some help from our neighbors. But it's up now. All we have left to do is paint it and then fill it up!

Day 1 Lily and Daddy

Putting a jigsaw puzzle together would've probably been easier, and the instructions were missing!

Brian and Doug putting the floor together.

What was completed after Day 1
Day 2 - Brian and Steve starting work early
Brian is wishing he was done!
Lily was amazing and entertained herself so well
I didn't do much besides offer moral support and good company
Brian, Doug, and Sieg - the loft is in
What was finished after day 2
Day 3 - Brian was pretty sick of it by then working hard after a workdayWhat was finished after day 3
Day 4 - Finishing it upBrian was so exhausted and pretty mad it took so long and considered burning it down (haha)
The finished shed after 4 days of hard work! Good Job Brian!

Love....what a cool thing

I was looking through my previous posts of how I was speaking about my life when I was pregnant. I can't imagine my life without Benny here now. It's weird. I was excited to meet my baby, and I love having him here. Now it's seems uncanny to imagine life without him. Love has a profound ability to grow. First you start with your spouse. I love Brian so much and couldn't imagine loving anything more than him. Then I had Lily and my love grew to love her in this amazing way. And then when Benny got here, wow, love is vast. Put Christ's love in the mix and you've got a love cocktail that is infinite and completes your being. Love....what a cool thing.

April has been a pretty fun month. I caught Benny's first smile on camera. It's like a piece of heaven when he smiles. And when he lets out a little coo, my heart melts. I can't wait to hear a laugh. Ben's growing so fast. He's out of newborn clothes and wearing 0-3 month. He can sleep 4-5 hours at a time at night which makes Mommy and Daddy very happy. His personality is getting more prominent all the time. He's so curious and alert. He loves to look around and learn about the world around him.

We had a crazy snowstorm this month. Lily begged me to go play outside in the snow. While I'm very sick of snow from the long winter, it still amuses my little girl. So I took Lily out in her big snowsuit and we didn't just make 1 snowman, Lily and I made 4 snowmen! It's a snowman family! Just like our family. They all melted by the next day but it was worth it.

I'm done with school for this semester! I'm relieved to take a break this summer. I'm hoping that I did well in my classes after a lot of hard work. Fall semester should be interesting with the bigger course-load, and harder classes mixed in with my two kids.
But for now, I'm looking forward to this slow and lazy summer where we get to relax, blow bubbles, and play.

Meet Ben

Ben at 1 month old - slight smile

Playing dolls

Already changing so fast 3 weeks

2 weeks old

I can't believe it's been an entire month since I had my sweet little boy.

Meet my little boy Ben, this is how he's changed and how we've gotten to know him in the past month:

-He's gained a whole 2 pounds and 2 inches. So he's 9 pounds 2 ounces and 21 inches long. I guess Mommy's milk is definitely giving him what he needs.
-He loves to lift his head up and look around.
-He is so strong for his age. He rolled over at 2 weeks old.
-He loves being held almost all the time.
-He loves his big sister
-He's growing more hair and it's turning a dark brown.
-He loves to give us rare but sweet smiles and sometimes a coo
-Ben loves to stick his tongue out
-He's already growing out of his newborn clothes
-He loves looking at his hands
-Ben loves to take baths and Lily loves to help
-He has successfully slept 4 hours consecutively



Here are some things Lily loves to do as a big sister:
-Lily loves to run up to Ben's bassinet when he cries and say hi to him hoping to calm him down. Sometimes it works.
-Lily loves to call him Baboo still, or "My baby."
-She likes to read him books
-She loves to touch her baby and give him his binky
-She enjoys helping mommy get the burp rag or picking out his clothes for the day.
-She likes to help burp Ben and has been successful a few times.
-She is so proud of her little brother and loves having him around.



A lot has happened the past month. My mom flew in from Tennessee to help me for 2 whole weeks. It was so great to have her around. She was such a big help. I can't wait to see her again. I hope it's sooner than later

Ben had his first trip to the zoo, which he slept through but it was fun to get out with the whole family. It's different being a family of 4 but I love it.



We also went to another train show. Brian and Lily love to go see the trains. They were super excited.



It's hard having 2 kids especially when I'm overwhelmed with too much to do or too tired. But I feel so blessed to have such a great little family.

Benjamin Brian Bauer

My beautiful son, Benjamin Brian Bauer was born on February 22, 2010 at 9:57 p.m., weighing 7 lbs 2 oz, and measuring 19 inches long.

This labor experience was like night and day how different it was compared to Lily's. I woke up at 5:30 am on Monday and felt a kind of leak, like my water maybe had broken. I wasn't totally sure so I went back to bed and thought I'd call the doctor when they opened at 8. I even sent Brian to work that morning I was so not sure my water had broken. After a couple of hours I was getting more and more sure that it was most likely amniotic fluid I was leaking but I was in no rush to get to the hospital because of the way that Lily's labor experience was for me. After calling the doctor I made an appointment at 1:00 pm to come in and to check to see if it was amniotic fluid I was leaking. I spent the day putting my bags together and getting last minute things done. I was having very irregular light contractions, so I was still considering what I was going through very early labor or even false labor. We got to the doctor's office and it was definitely amniotic fluid and I was dilated to 3 cm! They wanted me to get to the hospital right away. I was pleasantly surprised so me and Brian went back to the house and got our bags and headed to the hospital. We finally got settled there by 2:30 pm. They hooked me up to pitocin right away because I wasn't having regular contractions. The pitocin really started working and by 5:30 I couldn't handle the pain anymore and got an epidural. I am still amazed how people go through labor without one now. I was checked at 6:00 pm and was dilated to 4 and half cm. I was happy the pain being gone but I reacted pretty strongly to the epidural and was very numb to the point that I couldn't move my legs and would get very shaky and nauseous. But it was worth not feeling every contraction. And I really got to relax which was a good advantage for me because by 7:00 pm, I was dialted to 7 cm! I was ecstatic! I didn't even get that far with Lily! At 8:00 pm they checked me again and I was at 9 cm, and then by 9:00 pm I was fully dilated. I couldn't believe how quickly I progressed! It was an amazing experience. I was now excited to get the baby out, my shakiness went away and I was ready to push the baby out. Pushing was very easy for me, they said I was a natural at it! I was so relaxed and happy at this point I was actually laughing in between pushes. After about a half hour of pushing, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy. They placed him on my tummy and I was crying tears of absolute joy. I had finally gotten the labor experience I had hoped for and I had this baby boy that I am absolutely crazy over. Recovery from a vaginal birth as opposed to a c-section is so different. I was so happy to be able to move around and get out of bed. I didn't have to take a drug cocktail that left me woozy and tired. Instead I had an incredible high and felt as if I needed to get up and clean the house. I feel so elated, proud, and almost powerful to have had my baby the natural way.

Just a few minutes old

Meeting my baby boy

So elated and happy

My sweet baby boy

What a sweetie

Proud Mommy

I am so impressed with the way Brian was such an awesome support for me during and after labor. He helped me through every contraction with words of encouragement. He's been so helpful with Ben and with Lily. He's done such a good job taking care of me as I recover from childbirth. I'm so happy to have a husband like him.

Proud Daddy

Lily couldn't come to the hospital to visit because the day I was going into labor, she had a fever and a bad cold. So when we finally got home, Lily got to meet her little brother. She was so excited to meet him. She runs up to me and says, "Baby Baboo is so cute Mama." She got to hold him for the first time and had the sweetest look on her face. She's such a proud sister.

Sweet new big sister

I really feel like the luckiest girl alive. I have a wonderful husband who can help me get through anything, and 2 beautiful children who I love more than anything.

Precious

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is Good! His love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

20 days and counting...or LESS!

37 weeks - 9 months (don't mind my very sleepy looking eyes, I don't sleep much)

Less than 3 weeks and counting. Time is definitely flying by so fast. My midwife predicts I have at least 1 or 2 more weeks. I haven't really progressed any further than last week so I'm happy I'll be pregnant for until 38 weeks and have a fully "cooked" baby. I thought I was going into early labor last week so it was a relief it was just a false alarm. I'm fully ready for the baby to get here. The bassinet is up, the clothes are washed and folded, bags are partially packed, and I'm even 2 weeks ahead in my very challenging Biology class. I am very uncomfortable and so tired all the time. I can't wait to have my baby soon.

Lily really got me laughing this week. She put her new Bilibo toy up to her tummy and said, "Mama, I have a Baboo tummy." I cracked up and had to get a picture of my pregnant little girl. I guess I definitely look pregnant cause she's really noticed a change. She can't wait for her baby brother to come out and for Mommy's tummy to be little again. Mommy can't wait to have a little tummy again too.

We had a great Valentine's Day. Or what I told Lily, Love day. We took Lily to the zoo one last time before the baby gets here. We'll also be going out to eat tonight. I feel so blessed to have a sweet family who loves me so much!

My two loves

Counting down the days

Today we are now at 4 weeks until the big day. I went to see the doctor who would perform my c-section if I end up having one. She was semi-encouraging but not an entirely optimistic person. I'm very glad that my midwife is my main provider and she's just the backup. Both of the doctors do suggest the epidural this time around so that is probably going to be the plan. I did find out I was 1 cm dilated, 80% effaced and the baby's at -1 station. I was very surprised to find I was already dilating. It makes me excited and nervous! But I could stay at 1 cm for a few weeks without actually going into labor. I really want my mom to be here so I'm hoping that sweet Baboo will wait and still be a March baby. Like most mom's who are in their very last month of pregnancy I've been very uncomfortable. I don't get much sleep these days because I just can't get into a deep sleep. I have a lot of aches and pains that makes me excited for my pregnancy to end. I think if I could pick Baboo's birthday I would pick March 2nd. Mostly because of the very cool birthday he'd have of 3/2/10 (3-2-1-0 BLASTOFF). I think we've narrowed Baboo's real name down but we're going to wait until we meet him to make the final decision. I don't think I feel entirely ready for Baboo to get here but I'm so excited to meet the sweet baby that I've been dreaming about and carrying in the tummy for the past months.

Today is also Lily's half birthday. I can't believe I have a 3 and a half year old. And in 6 months I'll have 2 kids, one of which is 4! It's making me feel old. Lily has really grown up the past 6 months. She is doing so well with her potty training. She comes up with new actual understandable words every single day. I guess the hundreds of books I read her and the countless trips to the library's storytime have finally really payed off. She is quite a big girl. She has such a great deal of empathy which makes her such a sweet girl. I'm amazed at how well she shares for someone her age. She really enjoys playing with other kids. As a 3 1/2 year old her favorite things to do are to read and draw. She also loves playing with her trains. She loves to take her baby dolls out in her stroller. She has an endless supply of energy. She loves to run, jump, and dance. Lily is quite inventive and is always thinking of new games to play. She's so excited to be a big sister and I know that she's ready. So happy half birthday Lily! I love you so much!